My Journey – Part Two “I’m too young to look this old.”

It’s funny how we see ourselves. When I look at myself in the mirror I see a decent looking dude. Sure my hair is receeding, but with a little strategic placing and cutting…ah, it doesn’t look that bad. My head is proportioned well and I have a decent smile.

You see, this afternoon I was interviewed on three of the local radio stations because the firm I work for, Wiegers Financial and Benefits (www.wiegersfinancial.com,shameless plug), donated over $50000 dollars to the Children’s Hospital Foundation. Some of you might remember my email invitation to the event. Anyway, one of these stations was also webcasting. So as I sat down in front of the camera I looked at the monitor and thought.. “Holy S#@T, do I look that bald? And is my head seriously that big?” It’s funny how we see ourselves. In reality I am a 30 year old man with a 9 head, not to be confused with the more attractive, less exposed 4 head. This glorious natural event only emphasizes the fact that my head is larger then most watermelon’s.

It’s funny how we see ourselves.

As I was driving home convincing myself that what I saw in that monitor was not actually that bad. It must have been the lights and reflections. Ya, that’s it I think as I look at my 4 and a 1/2 head, nice hair cut and gorgeous blue eyes in the rearviewmirror. And as I did that I felt like God said to me, that’s how you see your actions, decisions, behaviour and attitude. You see them as pleasing in my eye. At that moment I realized that most of the time, my actions, decisions, behaviour and attitude are balding middle aged men with gigantic heads.

See, I want to be the guy with a 4 head, nice eyes and well proportioned head. I also want to believe that I’m making a difference in people’s lives. That I’m being a great example for my kids, that I’m being a great husband, a great employee and the list could seriously go on forever. But in reality most of the time I’m to selfish to be any of those. What I see in my spiritual, honest analytical mirror is someone that fails regularly. Someone that’s become spiritually lazy.

Am I being hard on myself, maybe, but remember I know myself pretty well.

I think that if we were all honest with ourselves we might see something in the mirror that isn’t actually accurate. Maybe you believe something but do the opposite. Maybe you believe something but don’t apply it consistently to your whole life.

Ian Fisher was here a few weeks ago. I love that guy. Seriously. He has spoken into my life so many times. The guy is honest and down to earth. He’s been on both sides of the fence, and applies constant grace to others. One day we were driving home and I told Ian something you’ve all heard from me. I said, “Ian, I’m seriously this close (index finger and thumb about a 1/4 inch apart) from screwing my life up completely everyday.” I say this to be illustrative, but what I’m really trying to express is an awareness of my weaknesses, and dependancey on God and His grace.

Then we continued chatting. I tried to sound wise, informed and philosophical. I piped up and said, “You know what the worst part of the bible is.” Ian looked at me completely unshocked. “The worst part is John 3:16.” Ian was still not impressed.

The truth is I often think this. We see ourselves and our faith in similar ways. We pick something and without even realizing it we make what we believe and see a reality. I live like I believe John 3:16, but I think I’m being a fantastic Christian. At first glance you probably thought that sentence was wrong, but I meant it that way. I live as though the principle of John 3:16 is the key to my faith, BUT I also think I’m being a fantastic Christian. Confused?

I’ll explain. As Ian and I talked I said, “Is the point of Christianity Heaven? Or is it just the perk.” See you know John 3:16. For God so loved…and it ends with, For whosoever believes in Him shall not parish but have everlasting life. See I put that as the staple in my faith. I believe, and man, I’m going to Heaven. We’ve all heard the evangelist asking the people with a twang, “if you died tomorrow, where would you be going?” It’s instilled in us that we better ask Jesus in to our heart so we go to heaven.

We start our faith journey off on this principle; that all we need to do is believe. Then we wonder why our churches are passionless. Our small groups fail. Our community breaks down. Our marriages fail. Again, the list could go on forever. In reality we just believe we are going to Heaven. We believe it more then the fact that we believe we should be “living our faith.”

I don’t want to just go to Heaven! I want to make a difference in my family, in my kids lives, in my wife’s life, in my church, and in my friends lives.

Sure I could say I’m doing this already. But remember, I’m also the guy that saw himself as a decent looking guy with a nice haircut. I obviously can convince myself of a lot of things. I suspect you can too.

Let’s commit to doing more! Let’s be what we see! Let’s do what we believe. Let’s volunteer in our churches. Let’s love our families. Let’s be better selves. I know I want you guys to see the person I’ve convinced myself I am. So remember. It’s funny how we see ourselves. Let’s be as gracious to others as we are to ourselves. Cheers friends, I hope this note finds you well.

e

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3 thoughts on “My Journey – Part Two “I’m too young to look this old.”

  1. Hi Evan! Thanks for FWD you thoughts on to me! I hope that this note also finds you and your family well! I am not good with words at all…I feel as if I am Mosas, needing an Aaron! None the less I love your thoughts. They are obviously real to you, but as I read it, I felt as if you could be speaking thoughts from my head.

    Keep on writing! I want to hear more! (and then one day put them all together in a book for your sons to see and gain more wisdom from you!…p.s say hi to Dan from me!)

  2. I already responded to this on facebook, but Im glad you joined the blogging world and look forward to reading your thoughts.

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