Does God Exist? ~ Stress, Sin and needing Help

I have never been as stressed as I have been over the past 3 months in my entire life. I’ve lost weight, felt like I was having heart attacks and have lost a lot of sleep. I can probably admit that most of my stress has come from a reliance on myself.. But still, I’m God’s child right so why isn’t he helping me? Maybe God doesn’t exist.

We have just finished the Easter season. My pastor gave a unique perspective to the reality of Jesus’ death and resurrection. I’m sure you’ve all seen a reality cop show once or twice. It doesn’t take long for a friend of the criminal to change his story and confess that their friend is guilty. Perhaps you’ve been in a similar situation. It’s easy to say God doesn’t exist but it’s very hard to get past the disciples testimonies. All of the disciples were murdered, tortured even for their belief in Jesus. Funny how a criminal’s friend can’t keep the lie up, but one of Christ’s disciples would die for a story. How many people would die for something that wasn’t true, something they didn’t actually see. Seems to me maybe they did actually see what we believe today.

So if God really exists why are we stressed? I really don’t know but I do know that God is bigger than our stress. I’m literally the worst person ever to talk about this lately. As I’ve said I’ve been so stressed that it actually hurts. I’ve been pulled in so many directions I barely know where to go. The times I do actually recognize I need to give it to God I turn into this legalistic believer. I find myself thinking I need God to help me with A, so I better not sin until he does.

What a cycle. Why is it that my gut instinct is to be perfect if I want God to help me? And why do I not just allow God to be in control so I don’t stress?

As far as I can tell, and I believe scripture backs me on this, God is Faithful and in Control. Perhaps even the self-inflicted situations that cause us stress are easy for God to handle. It’s easy to believe that God is ready to help but I often feel guilty because I’m the one that got me into this mess. I often find myself thinking that if we’ve dug ourselves in a hole by not listening to Him why would He help. I even question if He should. Have you ever felt that way? The God that I read about, and believe in (not just because 13 of His closest friends were willing to die instead of changing their story) seems to be pretty gracious. Perfection doesn’t seem to be a requirement for His grace and/or help. All we need to do is recognize our need for Him, and humbly ask for his help. God will be there.

No matter how seemingly big or small your stress is give it to God. Stress isn’t measured by the size of the problem.. It’s measured by the length you have to carry it. When you have to lift a cup of water for 3 days it doesn’t matter that the cup only weighs a few ounces as it’s impossible to keep it up for that long on your own. Small problems can be big burdens.

If you’re stressing, turn to God. I believe He exists and I believe He will give you peace.. I even believe He will do the same for me, and until then I will do what Phillipians 4:6 tells me to do. Pray and let God be God.

First World Problems and the Church

We’ve all heard the expression, “First World Problems”. It’s a sarcastic approach to mask the fact that our problems are, for the most part, trivial. We, in the Western World have come to terms with our greed, selfishness and excess so much that we have resorted to a sarcastic saying to both make light of our situation (maybe get it off our minds) while doing nothing about the real problems in the world.

As I sat in a prayer meeting my mind was lead to the idea that Christians have the same problem. We’ve come so used to our perfect facades that we start making small issues problems because it’s easier than dealing with big issues, the issues that Christ has called us to deal with. Issues like helping the homeless, the widow, the sick and the needy. I’ve sat in sermons where the pastor admonishes tattoos, social drinking, “secular” music and certain clothing because we need to be different then the world. Though I understand some things are not conducive to being a great witness (I’m liberal though so it’s probably not the same things the pastor thought aren’t) I can’t help but wonder if we really are that different.

The problem is we have it too good. Both in our world and in church so instead of seeing the real issues outside of our worlds, we nit pick the trivial problems in our world. We’ve chosen tattoos, alcohol, books, music, movies, dances, hats in church, personal styles as “First Church Problems”, all while missing out on the real needs of the people in our church and outside it.

There are broken people out there that don’t know where to turn. Their stress is so palpable that suicide is the easiest way to escape. Marriages are breaking up. Children and adults are dying from addiction, yet most people in church would notice a guy wearing a hat in the church building and consider that a more pressing issue. “First Church Problems”.

Christ has called us to an undeniable love of others. Paul says in Philippians 1:9 that his prayer is that our love will flourish and that we will not only love much, but WELL! He goes on to say that we need to use our head and test our feelings so that our love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. We are to live a Lover’s life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, MAKING JESUS CHRIST ATTRACTIVE TO ALL, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God.

I wonder if our First World Problems have crept into the community of believers? Do we really think our issues are greater than what Christ has asked us to do?

Next time you find yourself grumbling or offended (I have still yet to find a verse that says we as Christians can be offended personally), check yourself. Don’t let the selfishness and greed of our culture distract you from your call. Let people be people, let people in your church be themselves and love them while they are doing that..Maybe then we will actually have something that is a witness to our great God!

P.S. Here’s an interesting article on Christians and the World I found by Gary DeLashmutt. http://www.xenos.org/teachings/?teaching=485

“The devil loves it when we say we believe then prioritize everything in our lives ahead of God.” ~ AW Tozer

I am very aware that this post will probably turn into exactly what I hate. It can very easily go from a question of warning to a statement of irony. This frustrates me.

I’ve been a “believer” for 32 years. Unfortunately for me religion has not turned out to be like wine and better with age. I find myself endlessly frustrated with the process and ceremony of church, people that consider themselves Christians (sometimes the title is used as an identification of supremecy) and myself. To be fair I recognize that not everyone, or everything is bad but I continue to find things that make me want to dissassociate with the faith I’ve grown up in and have taken as my own.

I was at Fuddruckers this weekend with my cousin. For those of you that have never had the opportunity to go to Fuddruckers I would suggest it’s worth a trip to Saskatoon. The atmosphere isn’t the greatest but the burgers…well the burgers force me to order them way bigger than I need just because they taste so freakin good. Anyway (what’s an Evan blog without a rabbit trail?) as I was eating, something a group of people started talking about behind me caught my attention. They were talking about Katy Perry. I didn’t know this but according to these Fuddruckerites she at one point had a Christian music album with a song that spoke about her unwaivering faith in God. Then the conversation quickly turned sarcastic to say and now she kissed a girl and liked it. I’ve heard of Katy Perry’s past (similar to mine) and couldn’t help but wonder if she perhaps meant every word she sang back in the day. Perhaps her faith statement at the time was honest and heartfelt. None-the-less she has now decided to be a pop artist (I’m not making any statements about her faith position now because I don’t know..she has never personally told me) and sing about girls etc. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard Christians ridicule her. The first time was a passionate, ultra spiritual worship leader at a city wide worship band practice. It rubbed me wrong then and rubbed me wrong now. Why is it so easy to sit on our soap box and judge? Why do we assume we know everything? Why do we assume she is a liar? And why do I feel it right to be rubbed the wrong way?

I was reading a blog post today about Mark Driscoll. In it the author attacked Mark for being a bully. I thought her attack on him for attacking others was ironic. Here it is: http://rachelheldevans.com/mark-driscoll-bully The crazy thing was she didn’t just want to attack him herself, she wanted all of us to attack him and write his church.

Honestly I don’t know a thing about Mark Driscoll. As a kid I went to church, as a teen I continued but found my local church service and youth group was the only relationship I had with main stream Christianity. Even with that my friends were way more interested in Pearl Jam and weed then they were Mark Driscoll or whatever other high profile Christian was out there.

Here’s the point. Why do we feel it neccessary to make people believe what we do? Why do we think we are so right and others are so wrong? Worse, why do we feel the need to police it? Is God not in control? Is God not who He says He is?? Is vengance not His?

Over the past few years I’ve really noticed this cancer type thing in our faith. It’s the idea that we focus on other’s sin and making them right before ourselves. Christians (myself included) have become more opinionated about non-essentials (Jesus is God, He died for our sins and was resurrected 3 days later…Love God and Love your Neighbour etc) then ever before. I’ve come to realize that it’s not Jesus that turns me off of faith. It’s them…it’s me that does. And I suspect that if me…a “lifer” is feeling the pain perhaps people searching for acceptance, grace and Love, the things we say we believe in are feeling it too.

I might blog in a bit about major issues within our society and Christian faith that are road blocks for me and I might not. The point is why are we (you, me, us as individuals) so important? Why do we think we are so good? And why do we feel the need to control others behaviours?

I’m not saying some behaviors are right..I’m saying perhaps our reactions are less God like then we think.

It’s easy to offend people when you don’t know as much as they do. – Seth Godin

Have you ever made something harder than it needs to be?? This Sunday evening I was reminded how much doing this can hurt. Danielle and I had just gotten home from our church Christmas Banquet and were busy and focused on putting the boys to bed. It’s normal for us to each take a child and put them to bed. I usually end up with Noah and on this evening it was no different. Noah and I had been in his room putting his PJ’s on when he decided he needed to make a comfy bed for a new toy he had gotten from Grandma and Grandpa. He looked through all of his “stuffies”  (stuffed animal’s and toys) and decided that his big soft Lightening McQueen would be his best option. So he fluffed McQueen up, placed him on his dresser and proceeded to put his toy to bed. “Sshhhh Dad, he’s sleeping”. I was now somehow completely into this idea. His toy was comfortable and actually sleeping as far as I was concerned. I find it easy to slip into the creative views of a child. So we quietly finished putting on his pajama’s and went to the bathroom for the usual pee, brush and drink routine. While Noah was in the bathroom I noticed my baby boy Jude running down the hallway into Noah’s room. I basically panicked as I didn’t want him to wake up the toy, I mean we had just gotten him to sleep and you know how hard it is to get them back to sleep once they’ve woken up, so I chased after Jude (Danielle was being delinquent as usual :)) saying “NO!!” I didn’t get there in time; Jude was already pulling McQueen off the dresser. I reached down as quickly as I could to get McQueen and the toy before we woke it up and as I quickly stood up straight I heard a loud bang. It took me a moment to figure out what the bang was as I was also seeing stars. I eventually, though not completely, got my wits about me and realized the bang was my head hitting a solid metal edged shelf that has been screwed into the studs. I reached up to the top of my head and blood was the only thing I felt. Jude was in shock, I was concussed and Noah was peeing.  My head now has a deep gash (scabbed over now) and a dent in it. I still have headaches and I really don’t remember the first 20 minutes after the initial impact. Needless to say I made the event harder than it needed to be. Who cares if the pillow hit the floor and the toy woke up? I could have as easily just followed Jude slowly and re-arranged the pillow and toy and Noah would have been none-the-wiser. I choose though to do it the hard way and I paid the price.

Perspective is also really key to life. Because, though I thought I went about it the hard way, Noah might have thought that was a completely normal response to such a pressing issue. Obviously as he matures he would have, I hope, come to the same conclusion as me. Life does not need to be done the hard way. Perspective can really change ones view. I had a conversation with someone about passivism. In it the person brought up murder which then turned to soldiers and war. After a while this person said, well killing is different than murder. My gut reaction was this. From whose perspective? Does the widow of the fallen solder believe there was a difference between the killing of her spouse and the murder of her spouse? Or from her perspective is it the same thing?

I say all of this to warm up to the idea of the offense of the Gospel. A long time family friend of mine posted a comment on my last blog that included the verses Roman 13:8-10. Verse 10 is the crux of the passage, “love is the fulfilment of the law”. Have we been making this thing we call Christianity harder than it needs to be if “Love is the fulfilment of ” it? If you haven’t read my previous post I would recommend it as it really delves into the concept of Love.  But I think it’s necessary now, at least for my thought process to touch on the supposed offence of the gospel.

I have, without intention become a bit of a “red letter” Christian. I am more concerned at this point in my life with the words and life of Jesus than anything else. I guess if I was to be honest, I suppose the Gospels are really all one needs to learn what it is to be a follower of Christ and adopt it’s principles in their lifestyle. Christ did intriguing things. and told intriguing stories that explained the relationship between God and His creation. One of my favourites is found in Luke 15. The Lost Son is a beautiful story about God’s love for His kids. It’s the Gospel story.

I guess before I go into whether or not I believe the Gospel is an offense/offensive I should give you at least my perspective of what I believe the Gospel to be. Simply put it’s; Undeserved and unearnable Love that God has for us shown in the gracious and merciful act of sending His Son to die as a sacrifice for our sin’s allowing us eternal life. (I would go one stage deeper that it is this love that we are now called to do for others (John 13), but you can read my last post if you want to go there.)

So if the Gospel of Christ is love what’s so offensive about it? I was lying in bed prepping for my ordination service (prepping means thinking and praying about it in this context) and the thought about the Gospel being offensive popped in my head. I found myself thinking that if the Gospel is Love, then it’s not offensive. So I started thinking about it and asking people about it. I looked at Christ’s life and found him amongst sinner’s and thought it weird that he would be with “these sinner types”, if they found Him offensive (Matt. 9:12). And the more I read about Jesus’ life the more I saw that the so called “sick” (those that didn’t know God) were not at all offended by Him. You can find many stories of Christ amongst known sinners (John 4, John 8 Matt.9 and so on) of which none were offended. In fact the love Christ had for these gave Him the title Friend of Sinners (Matt 11:19).

The further I delved into this topic I started seeing that the ones offended by Christ were those that believed in God. The obvious history is that these people were Jews, and or people in a culture of earning salvation. The simplicity of the Gospel was offensive to them because they felt others needed to prove themselves, or earn the mercy and grace that was being shown to them because they had too. (Jews vs. Gentiles, circumsicion kind of stuff) To hear that Love is all you need from Christ was too simple. It gave too much freedom, and those trapped in the Law were offended that someone else could get to Heaven without doing the work they felt necessary to gain salvation. Perhaps the ones offended thought they new more than Jesus. I mean Jesus wasn’t a Rabbi. Who was this carpenter to try and tell them anything? As far as I can tell not one “sick” (Matt. 9:12) person was ever offended by Christ’s love, and the saving grace of the Gospel.

This is shown perfectly in the Lost Son parable. I’m sure you’ve all read the story in Luke 15 but for those that haven’t let me retell the story in a slightly different way. There are these two guys that call themselves Christians. They have been attending church their whole lives. Their Pastor (the character of God in the story) has been their Pastor their entire lives. They have a great relationship with the Pastor and the Pastor loves the boys very much. One day, one of the boys decides that maybe this Christianity thing isn’t for him anymore so he stops attending church and goes on a journey of exploration and excess. The other Christian has dedicated himself now even more to the work of his faith. He is studying the scriptures, attending small group, involved in worship and the weeks he’s not on worship he’s ushering. He’s committed to his faith. The other guy has gone so far in his life of self-desires that he ends up broke and homeless, dirty and hung-over. Realizing he just can’t keep this life of meaningless decisions and acquisitions he decides to humbly come back to church. He slowly sneaks in the back of the building only to be tackled by God’s love. God decides to change the service into a party for his recently returned friend.

This upset’s the other believer. He’s been working so hard at this church, doing all he can for God and God has never cancelled the service for him. Why should this punk, who turned his back on God and His church, get such a great welcome when he returns? If anyone should be recognized it should be me for perfect attendance? I mean this guy didn’t even get a thank you in the bulletin for his years of service and with no notice we are throwing a potluck for this selfish sinner?

The story goes on a little from there but we can see how the Gospel is offensive to anyone who thinks they deserve it. If you’ve been raised to believe that you need to earn the Love of God seeing someone else receive it shouldn’t be but can be offensive. There’s an old sales rule. 99% of the time we only think about ourselves and this is even true in our faith. We are happy to accept the grace found in true love, but are less happy when others receive the same thing. Especially if we don’t think they should.

As far as I can tell those offended by the Gospel/Christ were the “other brother (actual story of the Lost Son)”. The one dedicated to earning favour and seeing someone else get spoiled offended them.

I’m not sure love hurts (I can’t help but sing the Nazareth song when I write love hurts) or offends unless you’ve forgotten that the love has been given to you as well. We’ve all gotten jealous of a sibling or friend that receives an awesome gift. The sad part is we usually forget the times we’ve received something and they haven’t.

I’ll end with this. A good friend of mine is pastoring in Thunder Bay now. She told me that she refused to read 1 Corinthians 13 at their wedding because she hated that that verse was put only into the context of marriage. She feels it’s meant for every relationship, and every moment we interact with others. I will quote the verse below but before I do here’s my thoughts. If the Law is fulfilled in Love, then the Gospel is Love. (Kenny said that going deeper than love is needed in a comment on my last post that it needs to be love shown by grace and mercy..Well, I’d say showing grace and mercy is love, actually I’d say that you can’t show grace and mercy without love. They are a by-product of Love. Love is not a by-product of them).  And if the gospel is love here’s what it looks like for us. This is what we are called to do and be. 1 Cor. 13 in the Message.

1 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 2If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing. 3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.  Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head,  Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle,  Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,  Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.

8-10Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be cancelled.  11When I was an infant at my mother’s breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

12We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

13But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

Pretty offensive hey?? Look, when someone is brought to the Saving Love of Christ the Spirit will show them that the “wages of sin is death”. But in a loving relationship that’s not offensive to hear, like a parent doesn’t offend their children when they say you do that and you’re gonna get a spank.  So love your face off.. Love till you can’t love anymore and maybe, just maybe you’ll be showing the Gospel of Christ to those that need it the way they should see it. Be a doctor to the sick, help them heal (you don’t heal them). Plant the seed,  let Christ prune the plant. Unless you don’t think He can?

To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves. ~ Will Durant

I know I know, not a very catchy title. I wasn’t sure how to capture my thoughts and journey this past week. As I logged on to the computer I instantly went on to Facebook and saw this (the title of the blog) as my tattoo artist’s “what’s on your mind”. I feel it is a great start to my idea and conversation.

I’m not sure how to start this really. Well, let’s just go in chronological order. I woke up early last Thursday to attend a fundraising breakfast for the Children’s Hospital of Saskatchewan. It was a great time. THE John Daly was interviewed and we were able to watch him hit some balls. I have never seen anyone hit the ball like him. The coolest part was immediately after the breakfast I got to meet him outside. He was having a Diet Coke and cigarette break and one of the host’s of the event took me outside to meet him. I got my photo with him and chatted a little with the golf legend.

I drove back to work feeling pretty great. It was 9:30ish and I felt like I had already accomplished so much. (it’s a weird feeling, but when you wake up early and have a great start to the day you just feel energized) I felt like it was going to be a great day. Then it happened. I received an email from someone who attends my church. Someone I barely know. I see them often at church as I’m there all of the time, and usually on the stage but to say we are more than acquaintances would be pushing it at best. I’ve had a few conversations with them but they have always been focused around work as that is the only thing we really have in common. Anyway, now that I’ve established the type of relationship we have I can share the gist of the email. It went on to tell me that people are thinking about leaving our church because of me. The reason they stated was because they felt that I struggle with Carnality and Sin. They ended it off by saying that they love me and that they only tell me this because they love me.

Well needless to say my tires were deflated. I love my church!! If you haven’t grasped my heart from my previous blogs it’s simple. I love my family, I love my God, and I love my church. I am passionate about all of them. I am passionate about the success of my church, and have a heart to see the Holy Spirit move and change each and every life in it (including my own). The email came out of the blue really and I was actually heart-broken.

Have you ever felt judged? We all have at points of our life. A good friend of mine reminded me of a sermon our Pastor spoke on about criticism. One of the main points was to remember the source. This is no way speaks negatively about the source of the email. In my case I considered our relationship. They really don’t know me. So to have this perception/idea of me is out of ignorance. I then took solace in the accusations themselves. This might come as a shock to you but I indeed struggle with Carnality and Sin!! I hate to break it to you (anyone reading this) but you do too. This has been humanity’s struggle since the beginning. I believe Eve ate the apple because of her fleshly desires.

So, after some soul-searching, prayer, and sharing this with a number of close friends and leaders I came to the conclusion that God wants to do something amazing in our church. Ok, so that wasn’t chronological. Let me share the middle part of this.

Well without knowing what to do I looked for the counsel and guidance of close friends and the leadership in our church. I figured if they saw anything in me that needed to be addressed than I should take the appropriate actions and deal with them. To be honest I found the timing strange. As you have seen (through my blog posts) I have been on an interesting journey with God throughout the past 7 months. One that has changed my life tremendously. I have sacrificed many of my fleshly desires (coffee, being lazy) and have practiced abstinence with other things like alcohol etc. So to me the timing seemed off to say the least. I have focused my last 7 months on God, where He wants me, and what He wants me to do.

I was greeted by everyone that I approached with grace and humility. As one of the leaders said, this email could have been addressed to anyone and everyone in the Christian faith. However, as I was seeking counsel a few more issues came up. All of which were either complete fabrications (One was that I play in bars a lot and then have beers with people after to share Christ with them). First off, and I said this, so the worst case scenario is I’m playing at a bar and having people come to Christ and our church. Seems ridiculous when you say it like that doesn’t it. The other issue was one of offence I believe. We recently did a Day in the Park event for our community. During that event our worship band played some “secular” cover tunes. This was perceived as a compromise of faith. My heart is never to compromise my faith. My perspective was simply this. If I walked past a group of people in the park, bbqing and playing loud Muslim music I’m not sure I would feel invited, or the desire to go check it out. It was, at least for me, an attempt to make our community feel at ease because there was something they recognized and related too. I can assure you the music and lyrics to the song’s we sang were not negative.

So again, I felt horrible and deflated. Something that I did was misconstrued and was causing dissention. This is not my heart or my intention. So, I thought it might be best if I resigned. I came home Sunday broken and unsure of what I was going to do. I felt at that point that it was probably best if I resigned. My perspective was simple. If I am this much of a stumbling block to the church and the people who attend, it might be better for them that I step down. I was so torn though. This summer we had an opportunity to move to Kelowna. Have I mentioned that this is by far my favorite place in the world? That’s without saying that it’s also only 3 hours away from Vancouver. This could save me 14 hours when I drive there to see Pearl Jam. 🙂

Anyway, Danielle and I just didn’t feel released from our church. So, after sometime and prayer I felt a resolve that I hadn’t felt in a while. I wasn’t going to resign. I was going to seek God, and continue running the race. I began to pray for the people in our church and felt at peace with the decision. I really feel like God wants to do something amazing in my home church! I feel that God has great plans for us in the community and in the lives of each individual. The fact of the matter is simply this. When God has something great in store, the Devil tries to stop it. In this case he uses some ideas to cause division. But I see the end, and I see God’s grace pouring into our church. I see Him establishing Himself as Lord in our lives again and I see His Kingdom growing.

This weekend is a weekend of Prayer and Fasting at our church. Perfect timing right? I am excited to see what God does as we submit ourselves to a weekend of sacrifice (Food!! I hate the fast’s we’ve invented. We don’t need TV, or Music, we need food. That’s why it’s a sacrifice. Sure some people have medical needs, just fast enough to make sure you don’t die or harm yourself. Don’t give up on the idea completely) allowing us to focus on Him.

I’ll keep you posted, but keep me and our church in prayer. We all struggle with sin, but that doesn’t need to ruin us. We need to in our struggles, submit and focus on God, our Creator. It’s through Him that we have our purpose and reason. Cheers friends.

Cause and Effect

I have really been delinquent with writing thoughts down lately. To be honest I’ve had to many thoughts, but very few good ones, or clear ones. I suspect today’s might be no different, though due to a job assignment for church I need to write something for my churches bulletin. So I will copy and paste some of this blog and send it to our team to place into the bulletin for this upcoming weekends service.  Hopefully it’s worth the read. To be honest I’ve been thinking about the idea of Causality (Cause and Effect) for months. It came hand in hand with the idea that we need to have the Holy Spirit more in our churches and lives. Even after I shared this for months at our church, only a few people got it. To say the least it has been both frustrating and demotivating. Then again leadership I suspect is always like this.

We are often inspired by amazing success stories, were a man or women leads people to amazing results and change. One most recently that inspired me for the second time (as I’ve known of the story but to see the movie refreshed the inspiration) was the movie Invictus. The story shows Nelson Mandela lead South Africa through the Apartheid. It was a huge paradigm shift for the country and one I am sure was not very easy. I wonder what kept him going? I feel like giving up myself and I’m not trying to end racism weaved into the fabric of my countries business and political cloth. I’m simply trying to lead Christians, my church into a full relationship, sometimes a real relationship with their saviour. One that will help them live fully. Sounds like it should be a no brainer.

So I’m frustrated. I’m tired, and I feel like I’m trying to make a horse drink water.

The reason for this frustration is not the effect of my leadership efforts, but the reason. Our church (the worldwide church) has been brain washed into serving Moralism instead of Christ. Instead of seeking the Holy Spirit to change us, lead us and give us His fruits we settle for acting morally. The ironic part is this came out of a move of the Holy Spirit. In the early 1900’s there was a great move of the Spirit. It inevitably changed the world, and started some of the main Protestant branches we find ourselves attending today. I am (almost) ordained by one of these movements, the Pentecostal Assemblies of Canada.

I don’t think it’s hard to picture but imagine this. The Holy Spirit is moving, changing people’s lives. The Spirit is convicting, giving passion and control to the followers of Christ. The Gifts and Fruits of the Spirit are running rampant throughout the Azusa Street revival, which then flowed out to the rest of the world. Needless to say the Christians of this time were changed for the better. The effect of this movement was biblical change. It was a desire to be Holy and focused on the things of God. The effect was Holiness, the cause was the Holy Spirit.

Years later we see, by looking back something I’ve seen our churches do even today. We focused on the effect, instead of focusing on the cause. We slowly placed the effect as the important piece of our spiritual life’s puzzle. With our focus skewed, we quickly developed processes and rules to maintain the effects. Since the Holy Spirit took away our fleshly desires, it seemed natural then to make rules against any fleshly desire. Are you with me? The Holy movement began. We decided we needed to act differently than the world. “Act” being the key. Instead of focusing on the Cause, we focused on the effects, believing that the effects cause the cause.

Here’s an example. I was working on my deck this weekend and got sunburnt. The cause was the sun, the effect was a burn. Now I could equate that being burnt means I was in the sun.  So,  my goal now is to be burnt, or look like I’m burnt. So I paint my skin red, or go to tanning booths to get burnt. With this I achieve the appearance of being in the sun, but I have not actually been in the sun. We can get burnt many different ways, but they don’t all mean we were in the sun. The same goes, I believe with the concept of Morality. We can act morally without God. Sure God causes morality, but morality is its own venture.

So many people I know, in our church and outside our church are Moral believers. Notice I didn’t say Christians. I am really fearful for some of them. So content in their walk, believing they are Christians but really have no relationship with the Cause, God. They’ve only been infatuated with the effects, faithful even to them.  Matt. 7:22-23.

I was saying to a good friend of mine yesterday whom happens to be on staff with me at the church. My struggle is obvious. It’s a physical, and socially obvious sin, usually. So for me it’s easy, people can tell and judge my sin, and I know that I’m sinning. It’s a 10 commandment type of sin. Someone murders, well that’s easy to see, so we judge it and tell them to repent. Morality is like a sleeping giant. It’s a sin that is keeping you from God (Matt. 7:22-23) because you’re acting like you are a Christian, but aren’t one necessarily. So because you are acting Holy, you assume you are. It’s assuming the effect of being burnt means you’ve been in the sun.

This is rampant in our culture, and is destroying our churhes potential. We ignore the Spirit because we think as long as we act right, the Spirit is with us. I was told a story this weekend about someone not liking that Christians have dances at their weddings. The person said, “How can people tell that we are Christian’s if we are dancing like the world does”. I said, so if no one is dancing how can we tell who’s Christian and who’s not. What distinguishes them at work if there is no dancing allowed? The truth is simple but hard, the Holy Spirit is what distinguishes us because it gives us the fruits and gifts that people without it don’t have.  It gives us the real sunburn, not a fabricated one. That is what we are missing, the effects from the right cause. Not a perception of the effects.

So how can you tell if you are a moral believer? Or even more so, how can you tell what state your relationship is with Jesus? How often do you pray? When was the last time you were convicted? Are you keeping rules, and lists of things you are allowed to do and not do, or are you allowing the Holy Spirit to lead you and take away your selfish desires? When was the last time you asked the Holy Spirit to change you? When was the last time you allowed the Holy Spirit to press the reset button?

Moral Believers are everywhere. It’s the classic, great sermon Pastor, but not actually doing anything about it. The process is their faith. It’s a heritage often passed down from their parents. Act right, that’s what a Christian does. NO NO NO!! We don’t act right, we live right!! A huge difference.

Anyway, let’s focus on the cause. God help us to be better at not turning our journey into our rules, but help us to remember the cause, You, and help us to follow hard after You every day!!!

 

The Secret

Well, I have little to say. But I read something that I thought I would share, so I’ve pasted it below. I believe that it ties together with what I’ve been sharing about regarding the Holy Spirit. Humans far to often come up with ideas that make them feel better, or make life “easier”, or make their faith easy.

Reality is we need to do something, not just hope for great things. We need to adjust our attitudes and get to work. The Holy Spirit will have a huge part in this change and the fruit of the work. I could go off on a tangent here about the Clive Pick’s of the world teaching our churches false theology. Truthfully, it doesn’t matter how optimistic or Christian you are. “You can’t have it both ways. You can’t have both free will and a benevolent higher power who protects you from yourself.” Arthur C. Clarke

Church, we need actions, not beliefs. And really, our beliefs should lead us to action. So what are your beliefs? What actions have shown this belief this week? What are the outcomes of your faith. These outcomes are lined up with your actions, and actions are tied to your beliefs. Are your life’s outcomes adding up to the faith you proclaim? I don’t mean selfish desires either! I mean, Holy Spirit lead outcomes. Outcomes that will last long past you do. Kingdom building outcomes. Volunteering at the church, loving your neighbor stuff. Or have you been belligerent to your employees, or strangers? Lacked love? Are you filled with selfish desires or Godly ones. Did you make some money this week? Is it yours to spend and decide where it goes or your houses? These are the outcomes of your faith. And our faith is built on choices. Choices to serve God, believe in God. Choices to sin, choices to love. Don’t blame it on anyone but your choices.

Choose the Holy Spirit!!! Galatians 5. The Holy Spirit can make you the person you want to be.

It’s time for a real faith, a real Christianity. Not the idea of it, or the claiming of it. Anyway, enjoy the read from Mr. Roy Williams.

e

Optimism for Beginners

I detest the Positive Thinking cult. Yes, you read that correctly.

But I am supremely optimistic.

I see the Positive Thinking cult as the religion of Hubris; man worshipping himself. “I am my own god. I control my own destiny. There is nothing I can’t be, nothing I can’t do, nothing I can’t accomplish. I am limited only by my own thoughts.”

Sorry. I just needed to put that on the table. It’s important to me that you know I’m not a you-can-do-it-if-you-think-you-can motivational weasel selling magic beans to unsuspecting children.

“But didn’t Jack’s beans grow into a beanstalk that reached into the clouds?”

Thank you for helping make my point: IT’S A FAIRY TALE.

Sometimes your very best just isn’t good enough.

But I believe optimism is the gateway to happiness.

Outcomes are determined by actions.

Actions are determined by beliefs.

Your attitude is the glow of your beliefs.

What do you believe about the future? What is your relationship to Chance?

Have you ever met a happy pessimist?

Pessimists prefer the term “realist.” This allows them to reposition optimists as unrealistic airheads who need not be taken seriously. So no, I’m not going to let you pretend you’re neither optimistic nor pessimistic but are merely scientifically “realistic.”

Reality refers only to the current moment: a thing is, or it is not. Optimism and pessimism reflect your expectations about the future. Data is one thing, chance is another. Facts don’t alter the reality of Chance.

What do you expect Chance to bring?

Optimism is surrounded by cliché: “The optimist sees the glass half full, the pessimist sees it half empty.” You’ve always understood this distinction and wished you could see the world more cheerfully, but you can’t help how you feel, right?

Wrong. Optimism is a choice.

Discussions about the future reveal your basic belief system. Whether you call him God or Chance or The Universe or whatever, you believe he is aware of you or he is not.

If you believe he is aware, then you believe he either likes you or he does not.

My position is similar to that of Michael J. Fox: “I believe there is a god and it’s not me.” I believe God sees my flaws and knows my darkness but he likes me anyway. I believe bad things happen randomly. I don’t attribute them to God. Arthur C. Clarke said it best: “You can’t have it both ways. You can’t have both free will and a benevolent higher power who protects you from yourself.” This understanding supports my optimism. It is part of my belief about God.

This is what I believe about you: You are astoundingly, amazingly, unbelievably lucky. Good things happen to you that you don’t deserve. Good things are on the way.

When a bad thing happens, let the ugly pass. Don’t stare at it. Keep your eyes on the beauty that will follow in its wake like a skier behind a boat.

Keep your eyes on the rope. The skier will soon appear, smiling and beaming with good news.

Expect it.

Roy H. Williams

PS – When Pennie proof-read this memo for me, she Googled Michael J. Fox to see if I remembered that quote correctly. What she found is that he published a new book last week. I ordered a copy.

In My Tree

Before I start I should warn you. I have no idea where this blog is going to end up. I’m fairly certain though this will be the beginning of a journey in thinking about the Holy Spirit. Give me a second, I need to turn on my iTunes.

I’ve been inspired to thought by many things lately. I think what really got this ball rolling was a recent discussion with my friend Jordan M. He recently bought an album called No Code. It was recorded while I was in Highschool by the greatest band of my generation (and in the world now) Pearl Jam. My favorite song of all time is on this album. Jordan asked me what this song was about and we discussed it for a while. I was thinking about the lyrics and was instantly reminded of my previous thoughts on the Holy Spirit. The lyrics go like this (I encourage you to listen to the song 04 In My Tree, it’s amazing):

I remember when, yeah
I swore I knew everything, oh yeah
Let’s say knowledge is a tree, yeah
It’s growing up just like me, yeah

The funny part is I related to these lyrics in a way I have never before. In a humbling way. Honestly I remember when I thought I knew everything. I still probably think I do some days. I’m sure we can all honestly look at ourselves and see at least areas in our lives where we think our opinion, our ideas, our knowledge is complete and right. It was way worse for me when I was younger. The truth is the older you get the more people you meet that are smarter, more earthly and more grounded than you. This helps humble you I think.

Last night I was at one of the many work/networking events I attend. It was an awards banquet for Junior Achievers. I was invited to sit with Minister Ken Cheveldayoff. At this table were some University Students in commerce. I don’t know what it is about Commerce kids but they definitely think they know everything. To be fair when I was in school constantly immersed in books and knowledge I could talk the talk. It was kind of cool actually. Now I barely remember anything I had learned. Anyway, one of the students had an air about him. He was young, in his second year and felt the world was his oyster. His body language was disinterested and he seemed to think he would own the world after graduation. Remember when you thought you knew everything?

So this got me thinking back to my introductory rant on the Holy Spirit. Remember the lyrics I posted above. “Let’s say knowledge is a tree. It’s growing up just like me”.

When I first arrived at my church in Saskatoon it was a “Pentecostal” church. I mean there were “words” from God every service. Usually 3-7 words would be spoken throughout the worship service. If there was a quiet spot or a lag in between songs you could be sure someone had a word from God. The interesting part I observed was these supposed words often contradicted each other. It sometimes seemed like if someone had a word that another “prophet” disagreed with this “prophet” would rebut the recent hypocrisy. There was a massive desire in this church family for the Holy Spirit but I believe it was in a very unhealthy place.

I was once at Tehillah Monday in Calgary. Joyce Heron spoke. She had a word about the Holy Spirit and I’ve never forgotten it. She drew this picture of the Holy Spirit being a fast moving river. I’m sure this is something we can all imagine. She went on to describe the babies jumping in to the river and not being able to handle the current and before they know it they are in an off shoot stream no longer where they started and not where they should be. Last summer I went to Calgary with a few buddies. We went to see the greatest band of our generation. It was a great weekend that ended with us cruising down the Elbow river. Not the part that is in the city, but the part that is wild and fun. Half way through our journey I almost drowned. I was on a cheap tube that popped when it hit a tree that had been dragged into the river and hung up on rocks. When I hit the tree I was instantly sucked under and wedged between the tree and the rocks. I fought my way free and ended up popping up down stream about 20′ from the boys. Rivers are powerful. I think it only takes a brief glimpse of Acts to see that the Holy Spirit is pretty powerful as well.

When I arrived at my church in 2002 I believe it was exactly what Joyce was describing. Baby’s in their faith jumping into something they weren’t prepared for or educated on and ended up being somewhere God never intended them to be. They were passionate but not guided. In an attempt to guide them we felt the need to organize this chaos. I felt very strongly about this. “I remember when I thought I knew everything.” Before I go any further I should say that I believe the church is more affective when it’s not crazy. Order is attractive, and less abrasive to people that are seeking. However what’s even more attractive is passion. I fear that in an attempt to police the bad we have run the good out-of-town. Regulation can be very damaging to growth but it is so necessary to protect us. So where’s the balance?

I don’t think I know everything anymore but I do know that I want the passion back in my church. I want the Holy Spirit. I really am fearful that in trying to get ride of the flesh we have declined the move of the Spirit. It is inevitable that when the Spirit moves in our lives things will happen. It is also inevitable that when people try things for the first time it isn’t going to be dead on. Imagine if you were never allowed to ride a bike because they didn’t want you to fall. It’s crazy right?However we have started to do this a little in the church. Instead of putting training wheels on the for the people who need them, we have just said no bike for you.

It’s a shame. I was at Earl’s with some very good friends of mine a few weeks ago. One’s an American. This fact has no relevance but I wanted to show you that I’m very accepting :). We were discussing people’s journey’s in their faith. Sometimes we discussed people’s lack of faith. We tried so hard to figure out what the problems were with these people and what caused them to lose faith. I think at one point we thought we knew what the problem was and how to fix it. “I remember when I thought I knew everything.” Then it hit me. You know what the problem is. It’s a lack of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is our teacher, sent to remind of the things of Christ. To give us faith. John 16:13.

Then it hit me. Could my struggles be a result of the Holy Spirit missing in my life? I think this sad fact might be true. We need more of the Spirit. We need our passion back.

I end with this. I have been on an amazing journey recently. Even spending time thinking about the Holy Spirit has given me new desires. I believe this year will be an amazing year. It’s going to be a year of change for me. I suspect I will be cutting out things that I’ve enjoyed and doing things I never thought I would. This year is the year that I want God to be Lord again! I don’t want to continually struggle with the same things anymore. I don’t want to be apathetic. I want to live a life that is with the Spirit. A life that is seen in Galatians 5:16-25 (I really like the Message version). Let’s go church, let’s put the Pentecost back into our lives and churches.

Cheers friends. I hope this note finds you well. Love!

Now I’m real, and really changing authentically. Part 2

This topic has definitely been one of discussion and debate. I for one have really loved the opportunity to put legs to my faith. I believe that this process, at least for my personality has allowed me to process what I profess to be true while comparing it to my life and actions.

It’s funny because ever since I posted 1 Year without God I feel like all I hear on TV and in church is about changing, being authentic and so on. It’s like when Danielle (my wife) and I decided to think about selling our Xterra for a VW Jetta TDI. I swear everywhere I looked amazingly good looking people were driving VW Jetta’s. Now I am one of them and it feels amazing. The fuel mileage is amazing as well.

Before I really get into the dirt of where my heart has been traveling with the debate of whether the world wants to see us really changed or just being real (it really is bigger then that I guess, you need to read 1 Year without God) I thought I would share a snippet from a book I have been reading.

“If you’ve ever felt too bad for God to use, you’re in good company. Isaiah had sin on his lips. That’s bad enough. But think of all the other substandard people God used. Sometimes the greatest were the ones who messed up the biggest. Moses murdered a man. Abraham was a liar. Jacob was a cheater. Rehab was a prostitute. David committed adultery. The apostle Paul even murdered Christians. And God used all of these mess-ups to do awesome things.”   Confessions of a Pastor – Craig Groeschel pg. 148

For the record, I am a complete mess-up. I realize that on my own I am capable of very little goodness. It’s not because I am necessarily a bad person (completely bad anyway), but because my nature is in itself, very selfish. I’ve already confessed that I have a thorn in my flesh that I fight daily. I think like most that have a struggle, lack of balance in an area or plainly said sin in their lives I am fairly good at convincing myself that it isn’t that bad.

When I was younger my parents had a pool table. We would play pool with friends and family and use it as a giant beer coster when my parents were away. For the most part I have great memories with the table. (I now have this table in my basement) One night I, as most older brothers do, made my middle brother very angry. My brother is the most mellow guy on earth, however if you wake the psychotic giant he called a temper you should do your best to evacuate the premises. So staring at my brother grabbing the pool cue as his face turned a shade of red only seen on valentines day I decided to run. I ran as fast as I could down the hallway into my bedroom. I slammed the door shut and put all of my weight against the door. Suddenly a the pool cue shot inches from my stomach through the door and my brother tried with all of his might to get the door open. He couldn’t as I had shut it. But I often think about the times when my friends and I played. Times when I would try to prevent them from getting into a room but was not able to close the door completely. Those times, with the door slightly open, I usually found myself smelling something I did not intend to smell.

Sin is a lot like that. See, I opened the door to to my fleshly thorn a long time ago. And now, because of that, I have to push with all of my might to keep that door closed. Depending on the day, desire, attitude and many other factors we hope the door stays closed.

I have been wrestling with this sin for a very long time. Because of this experience I tend to relate to Paul in 2 Corinthians 12 when he said “⁸Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Was Paul lazy? Maybe. Am I, for sure. Was Paul possessed by demon’s? No. Was there a spiritual battle? Perhaps, but with that in mind God’s response is interesting.

So, the idea of what the world needs from us…. I think it comes down to one idea. Authenticity. Being authentic in our faith does not mean we accept our sin, but that we admit to be sinners. As I said in the first post, being real is a cop out. Being real, meaning doing what you want does in no way make you real. It makes you real vulnerable. We need to get that who we are is not what we do!

I am a sinner. But I realize my thorn is sin. That is a huge thing. You see, in the cases my auntie discussed I suspect the men decided that their “real” things were not sin. And that is where it went horribly wrong. If they were authentic in who they are and more importantly, who their God is I suspect the outcome might have been different.

In Love Boat Captain I discussed Love. And you know, Love is really the route of this debate. If we Love God, and seek Him his grace is sufficient. If we love others, and are authentic to them, we will be loved back. Yes Uncle T, I hear what you are saying about trying to be attractive to the world however a huge part of our faith is about going out and sharing the gospel. If we are going to share God’s love, we must love, and be lovable. Authenticity is the gateway to acceptance. We’ve all met someone we thought was amazing. You leave the room going man, that person was so nice. So warm. They were so funny and so great. They make you feel like a million bucks. Well, I propose that if we can Love God, and others authentically, we will both become attractive to the world and more importantly; given the strength to fight our thorns.

Seek God, listen to His spirit and stop doing what you know is wrong (if you don’t know if it’s wrong, and can’t feel in your heart that it is read the Bible, ask your Pastor or a close friend). Easily said, but not done. I know because I’ve been authentic to you, and I’m still really struggling to get past my thorn! I’m not sure why we have them (an interesting perspective in the Corinthians verse), but I do know that it takes both God and ourselves to resist them. Stupid freewill.

Keep the faith. Relationships for the most part do not bring instantaneous change. Danielle could attest to that. So I think it’s fair to say that for the most part neither does our relationship with God. Can you expect immediate changes… Ya, I think (Saul to Paul), but for the most part we will change in process as we grow in Christ. So keep your heads up, fight the fight and rest in God’s word. Romans 12:2,3 . . . let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.

LOVE everytime friends! Till next time.

Now I’m real, and really changing authentically.

A lot of people have been chatting with me recently about my 1 Year without God post. This debate regarding being real vs. being authentic vs. really changed vs. really changing has really brought on some interesting discussions. Before I blog (hopefully tomorrow) about my thoughts I thought it would be cool to share another  perspective.

Once again someone I love very much made an interesting comment to me.  She is a very dear person to me. Someone I respect and love very much. She is wise, another one of my aunties and I value her opinion. She is educated and full of grace. So, to make sure the discussion isn’t one sided (or at least to show you the kind of people I surround myself with) I thought it would be neat to share some thoughts from outside my head. Obviously over active brain’s (not saying my produces much while it’s active but can assure you my auntie’s does) runs in my family. So here’s something to think about regarding the ideas brought up in 1 Year without God. I will be very sensitive to comments on this. I believe there are some great questions here, all of which will add a lot to my dialogue regarding the topic (coming soon):

“Ok so it turns out that everywhere I turn these days I am thinking, talking about this topic …

Here’s a couple things I have been thinking about:

1. If our main concern is about how to be attractive to people, I think we are like the white washed tombs – more concerned about being attractive on the outside than what is really going on inside. I think that is the wrong question to be asking. I think we need to be the people that Christ wants us to be and how that is attractive to other people is the job of the Holy Spirit.

2. I think a lot of this conversation comes out of people not wanting to be hypocrites – pretending that everything is great, putting on a good show and yet that not being the case on the inside. It reminds me of Jesus talking about the Pharisees cleaning the outside of their cup but the inside they leave dirty. (Mt 23:25,26) Jesus was criticizing them for having the outside clean but the inside dirty – hypocrites! But I don’t think the solution is to make the outside dirty also – being real.
I think the solution is to clean the inside also – be changed – or let Christ change you. He REALLY, REALLY wants to change us – to free us from our bondage … we just need to let him. (this is a continuous process – daily dying to self)

I am pretty passionate about this as lately I have seen many, many Christians decide they need to get real with what is going on in their lives. I have seen dads leave their families for ____ – you name the sin – because they couldn’t pretend anymore. These people have ruined their wives lives, their childrens lives and their lives. (Just this week a man I know who left his family to follow his sin just got fired from his job – what a mess!) Anyhow my point is, it would have been so much easier on everybody had they just allowed Christ to set to them free.

Going to a “seeker sensitive” church for years, their message was really to encourage people to embrace the “realness” to embrace the “journey”: they rarely talked about sin and giving it to Christ and leaving it behind. I watched people get really comfortable with their sin because they believed that God accepts them with their sin. The fact is God doesn’t accept our sin. It is not OK. Christ died to cover our sin because it is so unacceptable.

But I think we have to ask the question: why are so many Christians living in bondage? What are we doing wrong?

Anyhow, those are my thoughts.”

Love God and Love others friends. Have a great week. I will blog with you tomorrow.